I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
