How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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