giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
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