I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
