Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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