If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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