The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
