I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
