Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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