If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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