I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
