About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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