Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
