You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
