I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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