Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
