i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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