oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
