I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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