i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize