Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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