She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
