Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
