Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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