would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
