he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
