I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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