they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Do vagina's smell?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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