Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
