i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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