sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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