Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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