Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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