My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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