UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
