I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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