Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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