it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
