My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
