Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
