I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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