This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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