You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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