someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
