Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize