My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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