Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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