I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize