Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just pee around me
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
