she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
