it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
