So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
