Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
