help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
