i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
