i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
