finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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