What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
its not stalking. its research.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
worst night to have a conscience
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
