I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
birth control should be required to get into college
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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