I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
