I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
