we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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