I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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