Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
