my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
