U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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