are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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