ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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