im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize