So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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