you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
