so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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