I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
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