If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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