this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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