he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
