there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
