dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
