That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
