So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
