i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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